Love and Bicycles

As usual, when I'm having a conversation with Sven. We become engrossed in some pretty wild conversations. Just this morning while sitting at Lovely Bake Shop, here in Bikeville, I asked him how his recent romance was going. He mumbled something about, a whirlwind, love, a balancing act, and trying not to go nuts. I believe the phrase was, "a pyschotic break from reality" I said, I guess that's why for the most part, I don't bother with romance. It's just too much work.

“Love is not only something you feel.
It is something you do.”

David Wilkerson

I agree with Mr. Wilkerson, love is certainly something you do. Whereas that alleged, feeling you get, isn't necessarily love. So, Sven Say's to me, " with all due respect Ron, on bicycles I accept your knowledge. On love, he said my opinion was akin to heresy. Geez, that's harsh.

Sven went on to explain this feeling that you get. This newness, these expectations, wanting to go balls out in pleasing another person. At least for the short term. He claims to have done this in most of his previous bouts with love addiction.
Now, I'm no Dear Abby, but I've been involved in enough affairs to have some knowledge of love and how it relates to other people.

For sure the one thing I can say is , The feeling you get from a trusted bicycle. The freedom one can derive from riding atop a perfectly, fit and functioning bike, is fucking Divine!
The bikes that I've fallen in love with, have treated me well. Been with me through many seasons, and have transported me to many places. I've had love affairs that were short lived, not so with my affairs of the bicycle kind. Look at what a fucking hot machine this is.

Sexy little beast!


It's name is, Filthy McNasty. Truly a lovely bicycle. Just look at those curves. When I ride it, I get this response from it that say's, You know Ron, we work really well together. Why don't you take me on the town and show me off? I reply with, I love you. You sure do please me. Now that's what an affair should be.
Don't tell me I don't know love. It sure as hell ain't tragic and it ain't a lot work. It's just what you do.

So please, drop me line with pics of your lover. (The steel ones) Show me what gets you off.
I just love erotic photos.

Craigslist and Cook County Sheriff Dart

Silly things often cross my mind when I'm idle. It's a good thing I've been busy lately, it keeps me from thinking about shit like this:


In Illinois, Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart sued Craigslist last month, saying the site not only allows the solicitation of prostitution, but also has actively created "the largest source of prostitution in America."

What? Let me get this straight, the good sheriff thinks the erotic services section of Craigslist has created the largest source of prostitution in America. What an Idiot.
A quick peek at the erotic services section of CL in Chicago reveals this:

SEXY, SATISTYING, SIMPLY THE BEST !!..SCHOOL FUND-RAINSING* - t4m - 24

the add goes on to state that this person has small boobs and an 8" surprise down below. Looking for married men who want a little something more than what the wifey has. Doesn't sound criminal to me. Judging from the poor spelling this person does really need education funds. What does t4m mean?
Anyway, another add went a little something like this:

Sexy, Busty Hottie for Breast Appreciation Day - w4m - 22 (Outcall Downtown)
Who knew! Breast appreciation day? Sounds better than sweetest day. Here's a bit more of the add:

Hi there fellas, give me a call and I'll pay you a visit in this little pink bra and thong. I'll be up all night waiting for you. I took these pictures yesterday and am feeling hot. 200 roses for an hour. I'm 5 ft tall, 135 lbs, 36 DD natural- 29-38. I love to make a man moan - I'll give you a nice sensual rubdown, not neglecting any section of your body :) I also love visits to the spa to receive facials and russian massages, don't you? Pics are 100% real. I ask that you be clean, drug and disease free when I arrive, thanks. XoXo, Tiffany 312.xxx.xxxx

Ahh Tiffany. 200 hundred roses? How romantic is that? All you need to be is Drug and Disease free when she arrives! Sounds fantastic! I'll probably have to wait another month until roses sprout up in the neighborhood. I'll admit, I'm to cheap to buy 200 roses from a florist.

As far as I can tell, the erotic services section looks pretty tame to me. If the sheriff really wanted to catch some crooks he might try looking in the for sale section. Specifically bikes! Get a load of this.

Univega Single Speed - 58cm - $200 (Chicago)

Reply to: sale-a5wjz-1135972220@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-23, 6:39AM CDT

58 cm Blue Univega single speed with upright handlebars, new tires, new tubes, new chain and new grips...26" rims with coaster brake...frame is in excellent shape. $200


Location: Chicago
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1135972220

200 bucks? For a road bike that has wheels that are a full size too small? What's gonna happen when you turn and your pedal hits the pavement because the crank arms are too low to the ground? I'll tell you. You'll be in the hospital with your mouth wired shut. You won't even be able to speak to this guy over the phone and ask for your 200 bucks back. Sheriff Dart arrest that guy please. Charge him with crimes against the cycling community.

Think that was bad check this out:
****Classic Mixte Frame Nishiki (Super Clean)**** - $200 (Lincoln Square)

Reply to: sale-egmjt-1135464421@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-22, 6:52PM CDT


This is beautiful restored Vintage bike with classic lines. It's beautiful to ride and very fast. Many new parts and freshly tuned. It rides like new and you will enjoy it immensely. You can see it at Shining Bikes located at 5600 N. Western Ave. in Chicago. Please give me a call if you are on your way. Robert 773-xxx-xxxx


Many new parts? Like what? That shitty seat? That bike is thirty years old and so are it's PARTS. Go directly to jail, do not collect 200 dollars.
How about this lying sack of Shit?

Sky Blue Vintage Ladies Free Spirit - $150 (Northside )

Reply to: sale-pmpba-1138324511@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-24, 2:07PM CDT


Vintage Free Spirit 3 speed Cruiser Mint condition, tuned, greased and ready to ride Sized for person 5'3' to 5'9". Easy riding Chrome fenders.call me or e mail Sekhema @773-512-9503



One way to spot a lying poster is to look closely at the photos. The poster claimed to have greased and tuned the bicycle. He also called it a 3 speed. One can clearly see from the photos that it's a 5 speed. If he had actually worked on the fucker, he would have known at least that much. A forty year old bike needs much more than a little grease also. Shithead.

It's a lot easier to go after prostitutes, who at least know what it is theyre selling, than to go after bike hacks. Just a thought.