Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Things that make you go Hmmm...

Things around here are always changing, and I suppose that's a good thing. For certain those of us that have chosen cycling as a main mode of transportation, are always hoping for change. Change in peoples attitudes towards cyclists. Changes in laws that can protect us. Changes in tire design, and tread life. I could go on. Sometimes, change just makes you wonder...WTF?

A girl came in earlier this summer, with a bike she had completely bastardized. She rattle can painted a Stronglight crank. To add more insult to the poor bastard she did this:

Those bars, mind you are Cinelli. Wow, hipsters can really fuck over bikes. What possibly could be gained from chopping bars this short? Steering loss? Leverage loss? Elbows to the chest? loss of control? Look at this shit:
Oury Grips be damned. I'll be glad when this trend is over. Such bullshit. I see folks rolling up the street regularly with these chopped bars. All I can say is: see ya in hell. Dumbass!

In other news! I prayed to the bicycle gods and asked that permission be granted to any drunk cyclist, who wished to walk their bike home. Seems some of us think it's better to ride drunk than walk a bicycle. My good pal Sven, has argued that it's just not cool to walk a bike. We've seen the tragic photos of him over and over. Many of you may remember, The Lady Pillowtalk. She started writing a sex blog, but has since stopped posting. She mumbled something about sex being too hard to write about. No, I don't get it either. Anyway, the Lady decided to take Svens road to hell and attempted riding while intoxicated. You can pretty much guess what happened. I exited the bar a few minutes after her, only to see flashing lights up the street. I ran down to see what was going on, and sure enough the Lady was lying in the gutter, wondering why there were so many handsome fire personnel around her? She loves the attention of people in uniform. In fact she told me to get lost, as I was blocking her action. Just take care of my bike, she moaned. Below is a picture of her, the morning after the face plant.

She looks pretty good in a hospital gown and she has the most beautiful eyes. Again, please note, it is best to walk your bike when you've had too many. Permission has been granted.

Not quite a chicks and bikes photo, but I built this up for Annika. She used to ride an SE Draft. Now look at her.

Hot little Whip.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Love and Bicycles

As usual, when I'm having a conversation with Sven. We become engrossed in some pretty wild conversations. Just this morning while sitting at Lovely Bake Shop, here in Bikeville, I asked him how his recent romance was going. He mumbled something about, a whirlwind, love, a balancing act, and trying not to go nuts. I believe the phrase was, "a pyschotic break from reality" I said, I guess that's why for the most part, I don't bother with romance. It's just too much work.

“Love is not only something you feel.
It is something you do.”

David Wilkerson

I agree with Mr. Wilkerson, love is certainly something you do. Whereas that alleged, feeling you get, isn't necessarily love. So, Sven Say's to me, " with all due respect Ron, on bicycles I accept your knowledge. On love, he said my opinion was akin to heresy. Geez, that's harsh.

Sven went on to explain this feeling that you get. This newness, these expectations, wanting to go balls out in pleasing another person. At least for the short term. He claims to have done this in most of his previous bouts with love addiction.
Now, I'm no Dear Abby, but I've been involved in enough affairs to have some knowledge of love and how it relates to other people.

For sure the one thing I can say is , The feeling you get from a trusted bicycle. The freedom one can derive from riding atop a perfectly, fit and functioning bike, is fucking Divine!
The bikes that I've fallen in love with, have treated me well. Been with me through many seasons, and have transported me to many places. I've had love affairs that were short lived, not so with my affairs of the bicycle kind. Look at what a fucking hot machine this is.

Sexy little beast!

It's name is, Filthy McNasty. Truly a lovely bicycle. Just look at those curves. When I ride it, I get this response from it that say's, You know Ron, we work really well together. Why don't you take me on the town and show me off? I reply with, I love you. You sure do please me. Now that's what an affair should be.
Don't tell me I don't know love. It sure as hell ain't tragic and it ain't a lot work. It's just what you do.

So please, drop me line with pics of your lover. (The steel ones) Show me what gets you off.
I just love erotic photos.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Not too drunk tonight

It's been a relatively peaceful day around here so alas, it's 10:30 and I'm sober! I've taken some great photos lately. I've wanted to post them for some time, but I'm usually two sheets by now.
Not to sound like a hypocrite. Even though I am. I'm starting to become an advocate for
helmets. I do own one, yet because I'm too dumb to rock it, you can more often than not find me without one. I believe in freedom of choice. If someone wants to drive without wearing a seatbelt, they should be free to be ejected from whatever vehicle they want to. Likewise with bikes, if someone wants to end it all on a slab of asphalt, so be it.
There have been a few visitors to the shop lately and one regular in particular, that have me rethinking my choice. You may have seen Sven's photo in recent posts.He's the guy that tries like hell to win the title of worst dressed Chicagoan. Well I have a more recent photo that shows he's into cosmetic surgery. Check this out!

Sven, claims to have made out with Division st. While riding without a helmet.
I have reason to believe he's been visiting Dr. 90210. Checkout the smirk in the following photo.

Those scars don't look like road rash. They kinda look unnatural, like, oh say...Botox? Or as Sven uses the code word, Botizzle.

Another fella came by recently. Showing of his new tattoo. Max Moore, a really nice guy, who seems to have his head on straight. Until, he decided on this little Frankenstein head tatt.

Boy the things some folks will do to make a fashion statement.
Now whenever I see him he tries to hide that tattoo and piercing mistake with a
helmet. Can't fool me, I saw him down at that Insight Studios place.

Chicks and....

Amy has moved into one of the rooms in the back of the shop with me. Now that's a reason for wearing a helmet. I'm gonna get drunk now.