A girl came in earlier this summer, with a bike she had completely bastardized. She rattle can painted a Stronglight crank. To add more insult to the poor bastard she did this:
Those bars, mind you are Cinelli. Wow, hipsters can really fuck over bikes. What possibly could be gained from chopping bars this short? Steering loss? Leverage loss? Elbows to the chest? loss of control? Look at this shit:
Oury Grips be damned. I'll be glad when this trend is over. Such bullshit. I see folks rolling up the street regularly with these chopped bars. All I can say is: see ya in hell. Dumbass!In other news! I prayed to the bicycle gods and asked that permission be granted to any drunk cyclist, who wished to walk their bike home. Seems some of us think it's better to ride drunk than walk a bicycle. My good pal Sven, has argued that it's just not cool to walk a bike. We've seen the tragic photos of him over and over. Many of you may remember, The Lady Pillowtalk. She started writing a sex blog, but has since stopped posting. She mumbled something about sex being too hard to write about. No, I don't get it either. Anyway, the Lady decided to take Svens road to hell and attempted riding while intoxicated. You can pretty much guess what happened. I exited the bar a few minutes after her, only to see flashing lights up the street. I ran down to see what was going on, and sure enough the Lady was lying in the gutter, wondering why there were so many handsome fire personnel around her? She loves the attention of people in uniform. In fact she told me to get lost, as I was blocking her action. Just take care of my bike, she moaned. Below is a picture of her, the morning after the face plant.
She looks pretty good in a hospital gown and she has the most beautiful eyes. Again, please note, it is best to walk your bike when you've had too many. Permission has been granted.
Not quite a chicks and bikes photo, but I built this up for Annika. She used to ride an SE Draft. Now look at her.
Hot little Whip.
In the late 90's a friend of mine spent a year or so in Germany. He would sporadically drunk dial me after going out... One night he calls me babbling and near tears. After getting him calmed down he finally gets out that he had been riding home drunk, and the cops pull him over and he's in the process of getting a ticket when a another guy who had been at the same bar falls into traffic and gets himself killed. Needless to say he stopped riding drunk.
ReplyDeleteOne night outside of Estelles I watched a guy spend about 10 minutes falling off his bike, while yelling 'im fine, im fine!' as we tried to get him to leave his bike and get in a cab. He finally made his way down north avenue and myself and my friend hoped for the best for him. On our way home we saw him wiped out with CFD and EMT's scraping him into an ambulance. Seriously people, there are no good ways to die, but lots of stupid ones. Im happy your friend is (relatively) ok (and she does have amazing eyes!), hopefully a lesson learned. I'm too old to be hipster cool and tarck as fuck, so if you see me stumbling home walking my bike, I will happily be uncool and alive the next morning to ride.