Silly things often cross my mind when I'm idle. It's a good thing I've been busy lately, it keeps me from thinking about shit like this:
In Illinois, Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart sued Craigslist last month, saying the site not only allows the solicitation of prostitution, but also has actively created "the largest source of prostitution in America."
What? Let me get this straight, the good sheriff thinks the erotic services section of Craigslist has created the largest source of prostitution in America. What an Idiot.
A quick peek at the erotic services section of CL in Chicago reveals this:
SEXY, SATISTYING, SIMPLY THE BEST !!..SCHOOL FUND-RAINSING* - t4m - 24
the add goes on to state that this person has small boobs and an 8" surprise down below. Looking for married men who want a little something more than what the wifey has. Doesn't sound criminal to me. Judging from the poor spelling this person does really need education funds. What does t4m mean?
Anyway, another add went a little something like this:
Sexy, Busty Hottie for Breast Appreciation Day - w4m - 22 (Outcall Downtown)
Who knew! Breast appreciation day? Sounds better than sweetest day. Here's a bit more of the add:
Hi there fellas, give me a call and I'll pay you a visit in this little pink bra and thong. I'll be up all night waiting for you. I took these pictures yesterday and am feeling hot. 200 roses for an hour. I'm 5 ft tall, 135 lbs, 36 DD natural- 29-38. I love to make a man moan - I'll give you a nice sensual rubdown, not neglecting any section of your body :) I also love visits to the spa to receive facials and russian massages, don't you? Pics are 100% real. I ask that you be clean, drug and disease free when I arrive, thanks. XoXo, Tiffany 312.xxx.xxxx
Ahh Tiffany. 200 hundred roses? How romantic is that? All you need to be is Drug and Disease free when she arrives! Sounds fantastic! I'll probably have to wait another month until roses sprout up in the neighborhood. I'll admit, I'm to cheap to buy 200 roses from a florist.
As far as I can tell, the erotic services section looks pretty tame to me. If the sheriff really wanted to catch some crooks he might try looking in the for sale section. Specifically bikes! Get a load of this.
Univega Single Speed - 58cm - $200 (Chicago)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-23, 6:39AM CDT
58 cm Blue Univega single speed with upright handlebars, new tires, new tubes, new chain and new grips...26" rims with coaster brake...frame is in excellent shape. $200
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
200 bucks? For a road bike that has wheels that are a full size too small? What's gonna happen when you turn and your pedal hits the pavement because the crank arms are too low to the ground? I'll tell you. You'll be in the hospital with your mouth wired shut. You won't even be able to speak to this guy over the phone and ask for your 200 bucks back. Sheriff Dart arrest that guy please. Charge him with crimes against the cycling community.
Think that was bad check this out:
****Classic Mixte Frame Nishiki (Super Clean)**** - $200 (Lincoln Square)
Reply to: email@example.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-22, 6:52PM CDT
This is beautiful restored Vintage bike with classic lines. It's beautiful to ride and very fast. Many new parts and freshly tuned. It rides like new and you will enjoy it immensely. You can see it at Shining Bikes located at 5600 N. Western Ave. in Chicago. Please give me a call if you are on your way. Robert 773-xxx-xxxx
Many new parts? Like what? That shitty seat? That bike is thirty years old and so are it's PARTS. Go directly to jail, do not collect 200 dollars.
How about this lying sack of Shit?
Sky Blue Vintage Ladies Free Spirit - $150 (Northside )
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-24, 2:07PM CDT
Vintage Free Spirit 3 speed Cruiser Mint condition, tuned, greased and ready to ride Sized for person 5'3' to 5'9". Easy riding Chrome fenders.call me or e mail Sekhema @773-512-9503
One way to spot a lying poster is to look closely at the photos. The poster claimed to have greased and tuned the bicycle. He also called it a 3 speed. One can clearly see from the photos that it's a 5 speed. If he had actually worked on the fucker, he would have known at least that much. A forty year old bike needs much more than a little grease also. Shithead.
It's a lot easier to go after prostitutes, who at least know what it is theyre selling, than to go after bike hacks. Just a thought.